2010

This time last year I had just returned from sabbatical in Scotland (with a lovely stop over in Hawaii!), and managed to get home in time to attend my sister's 21st. I was also 3 months pregnant and just getting over the first trimester morning sickness buzz which tends to go all day for 3 months flat! Fast forward a year and now I'm a mother of a beautifully baby boy named Cody Matariki Clarke. Still have to pinch myself every now and then because I can't believe I am a mother at 37 years of age (Yes I'm that old).

Giving birth and being a mother are the most challenging experiences I've had in my life, and although I've won three world cups and completed a PhD ... they pale in comparison to the birthing experience, coping on very little sleep, and multi-tasking with a baby in one arm. I wouldn't give it up for anything and it has made me change my perspective on life. I've struggled to keep up with the blogs since discovering I was pregnant while in Scotland. It threw me a little, and I was struggling to come to terms with my changed life circumstances, so writing a blog wasn't high on my priority list. With what little energy and focus I had, I tried to write a weekly column for the Otago Daily Times and write a journal article while on sabbatical.

Upon returning to NZ I went into nesting mode big time, moving things around the house, doing renovation jobs I'd been putting off, and planning for maternity leave at work. Being pregnant was a real fascinating experience for me, and I was intrigued by the way my body, mind and spirit changed as a result of having something growing inside of me. It changed my priorities, it changed my relationship with Wesley, and it changed my waistline and I didn't care! I was one of those conceited pregnant women who think they are the only woman in the world to have gone through pregnancy. As D-day quickly approached the nerves set in which meant many sleepless nights tossing and turning and wondering what I'd be like as a mother, whether I'd cope, and how it would affect my life. Baby arrived two days after his due date and I like to tell people that my labour was equivalent to a full working day. My contractions started at 8am in the morning and he was born at 5pm. Like most mothers, the love I felt for my baby was overwhelming and the oxytocin kicked in big time.

The first 6 weeks went by in a blur, and although I was adamant I didn't get the post-baby blues, I was crying over the smallest things and the dumbest ads. Cody has been a joy and a challenge at the same time and has taught me some things about myself and my relationships with my mother, Wesley and family and friends. Sometimes I have to tell myself to stop fretting about not getting little jobs done and just enjoy my son. Hours can go by in the day and I haven't achieved much other than bonding with Cody and catering to his needs and wants. Wesley and I work hard at giving each other time out from the parenting role, and having couple time every now and then. Cody is now 5 months old and has made it through the fourth trimester without any complications (touch wood).

I have had a chance to look up from changing nappies, making goo-goo ga-ga noises, and realized that there is another world out there that doesn't revolve around this little baby, so I thought I'd try and start up the blogs again. Not too sure what focus they'll have ... whether it will be about the challenges of being a mother and trying to get back into the swing of work/sport, or about what is happening with women's rugby and sport in general in New Zealand (don't get me started). I've decided to publish some of my articles I wrote for the Otago Daily Times. Some are better than others, but just meeting the deadline while trying to cope with my new role as a mother has been an accomplishment. Hats off to all multi-tasking parents I say!